7 days sober.
Back to work today and feel v drained after just 1 day of it! Definitely think work is the number 1 cause of me acting out so I need to bear that in mind and try to chill out. Going to my 3rd 12 step meeting tomorrow. Really think going to these meetings in person is taking my recovery to the next level and that they are a really essential part of any sexual addiction recovery programme.
Last 2 nights I got back in the habit of recording my OCD fixations and I need to keep that habit going. Just to give you a flavour of how riddiculous my OCD fixations are my current one is that somebody got me a Christmas present last year which I didn't have any use for.
My OCD is making me feel frustrated and sad that they spent money on something I didn't like or have any use for. And this is something that happened last Christmas! As I've said in this blog before, the fixations aren't logical and it always changes to something else every 1-6 days but the OCD is what's consistent. Well some days the OCD anxiety level is higher than others (sometimes it's actually quite low).Anyway, as part of the changes I'm making since my last relapse, I am now doing 30 mins recovery and OCD work on days when I don't have 12 step meetings (and 40 mins on Sunday).
Praying for another sober day tomorrow! One day at a time!
Hopefully after a good sleep on Fri and Sat night and no work on Saturday I will be feeling more refreshed on Sunday/Monday morning. Most important thing is staying sober.